June 11, 2008
Dear Diary,
Today my daddy put me in my harness and strapped me into my car seat. I thought I was going for a ride to the cigarette store, the pharmacy, or Petco, where I am often given treats. However he handed me off to a vaguely familiar man who put me on a table too high for me to jump off of.
Next the man shaved off most of my hair. I suspect he was trying to disguise my identity.
He then cut my nails. So I couldn’t fight back. He cleaned my ears so I could hear him say things like, “What a cute dog. Look how handsome you are.”
Then he washed me with a French vanilla shampoo and conditioner, followed by a blow dry. Probably to throw off the scent of the search and rescue dogs that would be looking for me.
Afterwards I was given a treat and some bottled water—an obvious attempt to buy my silence.
He then called my daddy and demanded that he pay a ransom $30 (quite cheap if I do say so myself).
Then my daddy drove me home and played with me because I was so traumatized.
The question is, should I call the FBI, SPCA, or PETA?
Thank God I’m safe now.
Love ya,
Duke
