What Men Want in a Relationship

By: Fallon (View Profile)


Men want self-sufficient, secure, confident women.
Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation—either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests.

On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner.

Women think men don’t want women to need them. Women think men do not need or appreciate time spent together as a couple. Women believe that showing a man he is needed will turn him off and possibly make him run away.

A tip for women: Men want what women want—a whole partner. One powerful way to attract a great man and build a vibrant relationship is to create a full, rewarding life for your own fulfillment.

Men want a manipulation-free relationship.
Men want no manipulation of any kind. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.

Women think men want little or no communication, and the only way to get needs met is through manipulation. Women think men either need or want to be reminded that the relationship needs to move forward. Women think men don’t want or value praise and acknowledgement, and so tend to only verbalize criticism.

A tip for women: Men will not tolerate manipulation of any kind for any significant length of time. To attract a great man and build a wonderful relationship learn to ask without hesitation for what you want and need in every area of your life. Learn to be aware of his timing and his timeline. Learn how to acknowledge and bestow praise.

Men want growth, personal responsibility, and ownership.
Men want a partner who can laugh at herself and who has courage and strength. They want a woman who can see her part in relationship dynamics and own it. She has to be emotionally stable. Men want a woman who is developing herself personally, and who takes responsibility for her emotional experience.

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Comments
posted: 08.09.2008
Muirnea
This is a really good story, and I'm sure it's right...it's just so hard to believe that sometimes...to many bad experiences that confirm the things men don't really want.
posted: 08.07.2008
Kindra Schaefer
Fallon, your story really touched me. I am probably in Chantale's boat - more of a men-basher than I would like to believe. Sometimes it's hard to remember that opening up and being emotionally vulnerable IS a trait of strong, independent women. Thanks for the perspective!
posted: 07.28.2008
Fallon
I'm glad you enjoyed it- it does change perspectives.
posted: 07.27.2008
Chantale Reve
OMG! You have taught me something critical. I am officially a men-basher -- and I didn't even mean to be. I like how you present the mythology that many of us women choose to believe, then hit us with the real deal: the tips that reveal the truth of what men want. Brava on your first story!
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

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