My girls are always asking me how to find a boyfriend. They label the boys that they meet at parties on campus as boyfriend potential before they get a chance to really get to know them. When you meet a girl, do you automatically rate her potential as a best friend? Most of us don’t, because predetermining the future of our friendships is unproductive. No matter how unnatural it seems to put our girls through artificial preliminary testing, we put our girls through hurdles before he can ask us on a date. While a guy may meet the preliminary criteria, boyfriend-hunting is the worst way to find a guy.
When you focus on his potential down the road, you miss some important cues revealing more intimate parts of his personality. We focus on how we will look on his arm, how cute his sweater is, or even how not attracted to him you are. The thing is, guys are well aware that you are putting them through tests. They’re also pretty competitive as a sex, so it’s likely that all of those romantic lines and perfect lines are all to make sure he impresses you. While he is probably a good guy, you won’t know what you’re getting until a few dates down the road. Kind of like electronics. You won’t know what you’re getting until you plug it in and try it out.
When we develop an exclusive chase of one or several guys, other dudes can sense your disinterest. You’ve closed off your options and could potentially have sent away Mr. Right while in pursuit of Mr. Right Now.
Boys are as complex as girls. They just have their own issues that they keep wrapped up tightly and will not reveal to you for a very long time. The most effective way to establish trust is to be a friend more than a girlfriend. A girlfriend automatically comes with the demands of dates, gifts, attention, and so much more, but when a guy is satisfying our needs as a sugar daddy, we forget about his emotional needs. (Do not believe him when he tells you that he has no emotional needs.) Be his friend and he will learn to trust you, and then you will get everything you deserve and more because he will know that you are worth it.
