Why Surrender Can Bring You What You Truly Desire (Part 2)

When we completed, we parted ways, me going north and him going south. As I drove north on Highway 1 through Big Sur, tears would flow intermittently, the sense of loss and stillness that comes when the mystery of life is beyond what the mind can comprehend. But the breathtaking landscape silenced all thought and I was not surprised to discover later that night on the phone that Drew agreed that this day would go down in history as was one of the most beautiful in his life as well.
 
Through the next few weeks, I felt a mixture of relief, expansion, grief, and elation. I have learned throughout my life that if something is being removed, it’s often because something better wants to come in. Or rather, that if I hold this intention, this is exactly what happens. And as my relationship with Drew had always held such beauty and love I could only imagine what would unfold would simply enable me to be yet a fuller expression of self.
 
As with Drew, he started seeing a healer who used the Diamond Heart Method. And over the course of two weeks would recount incredible stories of healing. He discovered that he had a pattern in relationship where he would lose his identity and then feel the need to leave the relationship in order to regain himself. We were still each other’s best friends and of course it made me wonder if we would get back together. It didn’t help that as an intuitive, I would try to sneak behind the curtain whenever I could and see into the future. But each time I did, I would get a powerful almost cosmic slap on the hand, and the message to surrender, to continue to focus on my joy and to let go!
 
And I did. I let go of Drew completely, releasing him to his highest version of self, and I to mine. I reveled in dreams of being fully creative and fulfilled in relationship, and more importantly enjoying a feeling of lightness, of passion and of support that had a gentle touch as well as a powerful foundation. Intuitive friends and even Drew started to see a figure next to me of my future partner. Drew even felt the shining light from his eyes.
 
In these meditations in the mornings, I marveled at the expansiveness of the vision I had of my future self. I would smile and tear with intense gratitude at how Drew had helped to bring me to this space when I couldn’t imagine that it could get much better.
 
My only request to Drew was that we film an interview of the two of us, speaking about our completion ceremony. It was such a profoundly medicinal experience for us that I knew that there was medicine in that act and ritual for many.
 
We had kept in touch for these three weeks after our ceremony, and the day of the interview when Drew appeared at my door, he walked in, lit up from within like the sun. My mouth literally dropped open and I burst into tears. It was as if he had walked in as pure light. I was both joyful for him and perplexed for us but remained open.