Emotional Head

My husband of seven years, gave a lot of emotional head to many women.

He had emotional affairs with many people, some of whom were rarely in his presence.
Most of the emotional head that he gave away was beyond his control.

How?

He’s an emo-addict. He’s addicted to people who are emotionally messed up and he receives a drug-like high by giving himself to them, even if it’s just his ear.

Even if it was at the expense of our marriage.

He’s an addict. He is addicted to giving emotional head, but he does not care to receive it from who is giving it to. If he did he wouldn’t get such a high from it.

After I figured it out, I confronted him and his reflex response was that he “. . . is just being a friend, and is only doing what consoling friends do for each other.”

He was talking from his addiction. He defended their honor (and his own) by stating they needed to talk with him and while the talking was about all things ranging from intimacies related to the bedroom to soccer strategies, to identifying the rationale and reason that pigs are in fact very clean animals—what he was doing was giving away the emotional time we needed to preserve our very own marriage.

Emotional people (Emos) were constantly calling him.
He was like a dealer for Emo people.
The same people were constantly emailing him.
The dealer’s beeper.
The calls and the emails came first and he couldn’t stop giving emotional head.
He never charged anyone for it.

Ultimately, he built up a network (like a dealer) during a time that he and I needed to talk and work through many significant issues relevant to our marriage.

It was weird that he didn’t carve out the time to lend his emotions to us or me, but he was doing it with many other women all the while he built up his own persona as a tower of solid cemented stoicism, and all-around standout human being who could be called upon in any emergency (kind of like FEMA before Katrina).