For years, I was under the delusion that my husband loved me to the point of obsession. Yeah right!
He started accusing me of crazy things with different men and made my life a living nightmare. This summer he went to visit his family and out of the goodness of my heart, or maybe buried intuition, I decided to clean his van. Lo and behold I found a card with a picture of him and a woman, and the card said the woman would always love him and thanking him. I was shocked; it seemed like someone hit me with golf club.
I called and I asked him who Kathy was. He said, “Who?” I repeated again with the words she wrote to him. “Oh, that … don’t worry, that’s nothing; it’s all over.” Well the more I researched, the more I found. It has been four months and he still denies everything, stating that I am crazy. I haven’t made any moves, though I have been outraged to the point of wanting to kick him out of the house. We do not sleep together—it was his choice before; now its mine. I feel suffocated and unable to move on.
I want to prove to him what a liar he is, but he just keeps telling me it’s all in my imagination, which of course I know what really happened and believe is still happening. I am financially dependent on him and every day I hate him more and more to the point that I would like him to leave. This is my home, which my mother left to me. I have two daughters who are still young and love their father. He is very good with them and loving, but the hatred I feel is eating me inside. I decided to go back to school and I hope this will help me to become more independent. I keep hanging on and thinking he is nothing and means nothing. I will come out victorious, but when?
