Well, I am not sure that my way is the best way, but maybe I can offer something that may help heal your heartstrings. Some time ago when a long-time boyfriend decided that he needed a two-week break (and then never came back), I felt as though I’d never be able to breathe again, much less find new love.
We were together for almost four years and of course the signs are always there, but denial and always thinking that it wasn’t as bad as I’d thought played a big part in my missing the obvious hints of unhappiness (in my boyfriend’s heart)—heck, I was in young, ignorant bliss most of the time.
I found that keeping occupied was the best way to ease my pain. I made sure to see friends as much as I could, kept my head filled by indulging in favorite reading material, and many times mentally escaped via movie theaters. I kept this up for awhile and it worked for the time it was supposed to and for its purpose, but I still had to face reality at some point. So, after a few months of non-stop “on-the-go,” I stopped and decided to (forcefully) reflect on my past relationship, the tell-tale signs of trouble, learning experience(s), and finally, really cry it all out.
I did just that and it took me about nine months altogether to finally get over the heartache, but I did it—and that’s the lesson here. At the beginning when the issue was so raw, so new, it was inconceivable to me that I could/would ever move past such extreme pain. What I came to realize is that the steps to getting over the loss of a very treasured relationship are much like going through those of grief. It will take some time and seem just too unbearable at the start, but repair will happen eventually—for me, patience and learning from my past relationship were key.
It was very clear to me when I’d gotten over the loss. I had literally woken one morning, several months later, and I mentally felt as light as a feather—a burden was lifted, and no more crying or feelings of hopelessness. I took a deep breath that morning and said, Ahh … finally.
Love yourselves!
