A Memorial to a Dear Friend

By: Laura Roe Stevens (View Profile)

A dear friend died of breast cancer eight years ago on October 5th at the tender age of thirty-two. I learned this week that her husband is holding annual tennis tournaments in Atlanta in her honor to raise funds for early breast cancer detection.

The week that Kim Chance Atkins died, I didn’t know about it as I was in the midst of a move from Phoenix, Arizona to Santa Monica, Calif. The last time I spoke with her was that August, a few weeks before my wedding. Kim was worried about hurting my feelings—so typical of her to worry about others. She had called me in Phoenix to tell me how sorry she was she’d have to miss our wedding. Her family always spent Labor Day weekend together and she just didn’t want to miss it this year.

At the time, I didn’t think much of it as I remembered getting together with her family in Gatlinburg, Tennessee one Labor Day a few years earlier. I knew it was a special weekend with her family in the mountains. She assured me she was feeling great—but in retrospect, perhaps I should have known that she wasn’t. She insisted that she was feeling better, and she sounded terrific on the phone. I remember laughing as I heard her adorable four-year-old daughter, Abbey, in the background doing cheers and Kim telling me, a former cheerleader, that she had become “cheerleader crazy.” At one point, she had to put the phone down and tell her daughter to pipe down. She seemed filled with energy—she sounded terrific. She insisted that I send pictures of the wedding and we spent the remainder of the conversation talking about my crazy family and wedding arrangements.

I arrived in Atlanta two days before the wedding and was thrust into a whirlwind of activity. I remember wanting to get into my car and drive out to Conyers to see her—but between my completely irrational mother, who was overwhelmed and snapping at everyone, the politics of my future in-laws who wouldn’t stand for sitting near each other, my sister who “forgot” she was to be my maid of honor, and my dad who wasn’t sure he’d be able to come since he had a patient emergency, well, you get the idea. I had entered wedding madness. And wouldn’t it have been fun to later have a laugh and tell Kim all about it.  

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posted: 09.16.2008
Colleen Lockwood
Sounds like Kim was a lovely woman, Katherine's idea of putting together something for her daughter to keep is right on the money. Good luck to you.
posted: 10.06.2007
Judith Brown
Thank you, Laura. Your story devoted to your beautiful friend, Kim, is an awesome tribute! Although her time on this earth was brief, sounds like Kim's lived a life that most 80-yr-olds rarely boast of. What a blessing to know her and to be her. She's truly a wonderful person, and thank you for allowing all of us to know her, too.
posted: 10.03.2007
Ang DePriest
Laura, I miss Kim, too--and I didn't even know her! I know the world was a better and more interesting place with her in it. And my heart just hurts for Abbey and her daddy. My mom survived breast cancer (one year now), lost a breast to it, but her spirit is indomitable. Every moment I spend with my mom I think of all the women who have died from this terrible disease. I try and pay tribute to them by loving my mother better and stronger than ever before. I'm sorry you lost your friend. She was so special.
posted: 10.01.2007
Rebecca Brown
Kim sounds like a wonderful friend, wife, and mother. Don't beat yourself up for what you didn't do - you obviously did a lot for her or you wouldn't have had the close friendship you had. And this gift to her family is more precious than anything.
posted: 09.27.2007
Katherine Gordon
Laura, my mother was the exact same age (32) when she died of cancer. I was 4. I'm now 41 and my biggest sadness is that I don't have any sense of who she was, especially given that she died in 1970, pre-video cameras. I think the greatest tribute you can pay to your departed friend is to take your wonderful list of memories and send it to your friend's husband to share with his daughter once she's old enough.
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