Beer Foamy

Any girl can sip alluringly at a Flirtini or Cosmo, or develop a taste for wine nurtured by wine appreciation classes or an oenophile partner—less commonplace (at least in my experience) are beer appreciation courses.

Lager, stout, wheat, ale, IPA, hefeweisen, blonde, pilsner, cider, amber, red—each type of beer seems to have an infinite number of variations and brands. As microbreweries pop up everywhere, a neophyte beer lover might be forgiven for always ordering the tried-and-true, the familiar.

Girls, avoid this temptation! I have it on good authority that a knowledge of beer and familiarity with its many variations is sexy and alluring—as confidence and expertise when engaging any stereotypically male activity tends to be. Actually, it’s easy to surpass the guys on this front, since so many men are happy just to catch the silver bullet—or buy what’s cheapest without considering taste. 

Given all this, I’m delighted to present my very brief and informal version of a beer appreciation course, based on a long period of research consisting of most of my twenties and half of my thirties. It’s all a matter of taste, of course (considering we’re talking about taste), so feel free to disagree. Here’re just a few of the fruits (and hops) of my research.

Stout—Consider your Guinness, your Murphy’s Ale: thick and dark, with a solid cream head that could hold a match vertical. In my time as a cocktail waitress at an Irish music pub, I learned to list stouts at the top of my order, since they take so long to pour—usually, a good bartender will pour a pint glass about three-fourths full, let it settle, then top it off carefully. A VERY good bartender will pour a shamrock design in the foam at the top of the glass. In any case, it takes almost three times as long to pour as any other tap beer. So why order it? Well, personally, it reminds me of Ireland, peaty fires, and days spent sitting with friends in a pub. The taste is solid—almost a meal. It’s not something to knock back, immediately ordering another; it’s something to savor. And I love that little foam mustache you get after a swallow.

IPA—Not my drink, honestly. It’s got a too-bitter taste, in my opinion. I kid myself that I can taste the hops; but if you feel most beers are too bland, and too much like drinking flavored water, try an IPA.