I'm indulging in Tostitos and creamy salsa with a diet Dr. Pepper on the side. Haven't figured out why the need to pamper and feel so sorry for myself today. I'd rather dunk and keep dunking these chips in this spicy, creamy luxury of way too many calories than hold this pen and let it rip!
Got it bad today. Woke up with too big of an expectation of having some coffee and then never got it after I was awaken by the cell phone above my head. My husband usually knows the routine but not this morning. If he had the cell with him in the first place I wouldn't have been so abruptly interrupted and then having such a need for some hot liquid comfort.
Then it started. Reason after reason started to flood my waking mind which could also include my imagination being that I'm not fully coherent. The more lucid I become the more reasons I can think of to transform in to the grouch that I am now nine hours later. Now that I've finished off at least half of this dip and two handfuls of chips it won't be long before I'm pissed at myself for doing it. Why did I even start writing? The recourse to eat compulsively and recklessly seems to satisfy this negative flurry that seems to gain momentum by the minute. Don't remember an event similar to this one. This one is different, I am actually present and taking mental notes. Usually I'm very upbeat and setting the tempo for everyone else. Not today, not this evening. Of course I am thinking, something to do with menopause? Wait. Let me get a few more scoops of dip on this little chip. Menopause is now a consideration for anything unusual that may creep up on me physically or behaviorally? I am behaving myself at work though. Speaking softly, politely but behind the audible is seething fire. Now that thoughts are rolling all day and trying to make sense of it I think this may have induced last evening.
