Release to Renew

By: Leialoha (View Profile)

There is this really great website where crafters can sell items that they have created. Actually have great quality pictures of all types of items! While browsing through this expansive arcade of individualism, I realized that I am by no means an "original" at crafting like I labeled myself to be a long time ago. Not even a half decent one. People out there are so creative, original and their work looks beautiful! Me-I'm always "looking". "Looking" for inspiration, what a joke! What a joke I am too! I have a room full of fabric and craft material and what for? All it really seems to do is depress me. So now the plan is to haul it all out and I do mean HAUL and trash it! That's like trashing myself out too. That really hurts but may be it will set me free. This has always been part of the identity given to myself. Take that title away and what is left is wife, mother, employee, dog mother-care giver. No friends (not the daily chat partner or weekly for that matter). Could this be a problem?

Okay then, that's the plan. Get rid of all this because all this time I thought I had a special talent of being creative. We will implode and continue to implode until there is nothing left of that belief. My world will be reduced a lot from what it is now. A switch has been flipped and the lights have burned out. All the stickers are expired and no longer renewable. There was a time I thought I had some smarts but compared to my recent discovery I know I have no such thing.  May be soon I will find and explore a new part of me.

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posted: 07.26.2008
Dj dawson
This was great! and I love the comment from your daughter. What a sparkling duo you are!
posted: 07.20.2008
MyTai Rodrigues
Mom~you are an amazing woman...and your talents far outweigh anyone I know. The thing is, I believe there was a time when you sewed your heart through your crafts.....now your heart is sewed through something else....someone else....and I believe you'll be seeing that "someone else" this friday!!! You're just living for something greater now....your granddaughter. All that you possess, your talents, your wit, your creativity...is waiting to be soaked up by this little girl.... Little does she know, her Ammi has so much more to share with her besides the art of making french toast! Love to you, from your two girls always!!!
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