I’m Your Disease

By: Baybaykids6 (View Profile)

I hate meetings. I hate Higher Power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who comes in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction—cunning, baffling, and powerful. That’s me. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call me? I was there. I love to make you happy. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can’t feel anything at all. This is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering. I’ve been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who agreed with you. Together we were able to destroy all things good in your life.

People don’t take me seriously. They take stokes seriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don’t know without my help, these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a twelve-step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power all weaken me and can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must leave here quietly. You don’t see me, but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I exist. But I am here ... and until we meet again, if we meet again—I wish you death and suffering.

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posted: 10.16.2008
Harriet M
Thank you for sharing this. I think we have all struggled with things we felt like we weren't strong enough to overcome, and it's inspiring to read about how you found a way to love yourself more than the fear. It's a very powerful message.
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

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