One of the most widely practiced holiday rituals is the gathering together of family. People all over the country will travel short and long distances to be with family members this holiday season. Whether it’s out of obligation or a genuine desire to spend time together, family members typically congregate at this time of year. For some, it’s an opportunity to enjoy relaxed time with loved ones, but for many, the family get together is a time of anxiety and tension.
As a family counselor, I am well aware of the stress that the holidays and family gatherings often bring. Many people find it beneficial to meet with a counselor to prepare for spending time with family over the holidays and also to debrief after the typical family dynamics have once again played themselves out during the visit. If you’re among those who struggle to enjoy time with your family, or even if you just want this year to be better than it has been in the past, you’re not alone. We could all benefit from thinking about how we can better survive our holiday family gathering.
If gathering can be so difficult, why do we even have this tradition? There are some practical reasons for it. For example, most people get at least some time off during the holidays, which makes traveling to see family members easier. But many of us spend time with family every year simply because it’s expected of us. It just isn’t worth the tension that it would cause to not be there for the holidays.
In addition to the more practical side of this ritual, there is also spiritual significance to these gatherings. We are designed to be in a relationship with God and with others. It is in and through these relationships that we learn about who God is and who we are. God created us to be in community and our family is one of our primary communities. We gather with family over the holidays to make meaning together and to preserve the traditions of past generations. Spending time with family over the holidays gives us a sense of connectedness.
