I Believe

By: Melinda Farris (View Profile)

I truly thought by the time I reached my mid years, I would have reached a point where I would truly be comfortable in my own skin and have my act totally together ... But, it hasn’t happened.

I thought by middle age and surely my freedom years, I would have stored enough great wisdoms from spiritual sources, life changing experiences, and the profound teachings of others within my spirit, and I would stop searching … But, it hasn’t happened ...

My most precious wish was that, by now, I would have settled down with a wonderful companion, compatible soul mate, and loving husband ... But, it hasn’t happened ...

I thought that by middle age all the baggage from my painful childhood—physical and emotional abuse—would be strictly in the past. Forgiven, forgotten, no more night terrors or nightmares … But, it hasn’t happened ...

I thought by this age I would have figured out all the ins and outs of keeping myself from giving too much, feeling too much ... But, it hasn’t happened ...

I thought by middle age, my life would be free of drama, chaos, friction, turmoil, and stress. But, it hasn’t happened ...

I thought by this time in my life I would have found my own personal niche, found a comfortable place where I truly felt without a shade of doubt that I truly belonged. But, it hasn’t happened ...

I thought by now I would have stopped constantly seeking the face of God, because I felt His presence sooooo strongly in my daily life. But, it hasn’t happened ...

One would think by now I would have given up hope of finding inner peace and serenity. But, it hasn’t happened ...

One would think by now I would have given up on myself because of all the horrible mistakes I have made in my life. But, it hasn’t happened ...

One would think by now I would have given up on my dreams, aspirations, and goals for a bright happy future ... But, it hasn’t happened ...

2 readers liked this story.
bookmarks
Comments
posted: 09.17.2008
Lucy MacDonald
What you say is truth in its ultimate form. I thought by now my family and those who say they are my friends would somehow break my faith, but it hasn't happened. Ask and ye shall receive an answer, but seek and ye shall find THE answer.
posted: 09.12.2008
Bee
Your article was beautiful and we just need to look around at nature and know that we must believe.
posted: 08.31.2008
Detra Delangel
I like what you wrote. I feel so much the same way. I thought by this time in my life I would have done great things for God but as you said, it hasn't happened. Even still I too believe. That hope is still alive inside of me and hope keeps me going. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and keep it up. Maybe there is more wisdom inside you than you even know. Detra
It feels good to write.

Your stories, musings, and advice are welcome here. We know you've got something to share, so jump in—maybe get a little famous. And don't worry—you can save a draft!

most liked
Loader_buff
Other topics you might appreciate
Relationships Style Career & Money Neighborhood & World Parenting