Trends I Didn’t Fall For … Yet

The runway doesn’t directly influence most of us, so it’s quite possible to have gone all of last year without ever missing the $159,000 pair of Nicola Ghesquiere’s gold leggings, or Miu Miu’s teacup handle-heel shoes. Most of us, however, do see trends on the streets, on our friends, and even on our mothers. When the trends are coming at you from all angles, you can start to forget that you hate them.

It’s no easy feat to avoid “the latest”—in fact, I was thinking about buying a pair of blinders to help me but I know the equestrian look is coming back, so I’m worried they’ll be trendy. Here are a few recent trends I’m glad I avoided:

The Hipster Look
“Hipster: Listens to bands that you have never heard of. Has hairstyle that can only be described as “complicated.” Probably tattooed. Definitely cooler than you. Drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon. Often. Complains. Probably living off parents money—and spends a great deal of it to look like they don’t have any.” —Urban Dictionary

From Williamsburg, NY, to the Silver Lake district, LA, to Philadelphia, PA, hipsters have taken over. They also have one of the more regrettable looks of the year. Cruising around the Mission District in San Francisco (hotbed of hipster action) makes one wonder if these people actually looked at themselves before leaving the house, or if a nice, blind homeless person lent them some clothes for the day. Trucker hats, though they’ve never set foot in an eighteen-wheeler. Skinny jeans, to better highlight their muffin tops or chicken legs. Ironic T-shirt, because they are nothing if not ironic. Leg warmers, worn on a hot day. Frequent accessorizing with skulls, neon, pins, Newport cigarettes, a line or two of coke, kitsch, and a bad attitude. Many of their wears would be fine standing alone, but when they’re all combined on a wearer with a snarky attitude, who rides a track bike sans helmet while listening to his/her iPod and weaving through traffic—it’s hard not to see the look as nothing more than posturing. After the PBR wears off, this trend might just go the way of grunge (which, gulp, I think is coming back this season).

Uggs
Many people love their Uggs, but logic dictates that these sheep skinned lined boots were meant to be worn in one place, and that’s the snow. Not with a mini skirt. Or shorts. Or in LA. Then stars started to wear them in the sun, and born was an epidemic of Ugg wearing. Since then, they’ve been co-opted by teen girls everywhere, something I pointed out to my thirty-year-old friend as she found herself falling for the trend.

Crocs
It all starts out so simple. You have a pair of comfortable shoes that aren’t that cute. (I own Dansko’s, so I can empathize.) You vow never to wear them in public, only in the yard, in your house, etc. But then, you wear them to the corner store, to the beach. They’re neon green, so they match nothing, but hey, just for small trips right? Then you wear them to a friend’s house, or to the movies, or on a weekend trip, and the next thing you know you find yourself at a bar, wearing neon green crocs, and wondering, “Where did it all go wrong?” Crocs are this decade’s Tevas, and we all know how cool those are now. Of course, hindsight is always 20/20 (myself a former Teva owner).

Mullets
Mullets are like tides: sometimes they’re in, sometimes they’re out, but you know they’re never going to cease. Mullets were fashionably “in” last year for women, and many will be seen growing them “out” this year. If I hadn’t avoided this trend, you’d probably find me spending my grow out time in good mullet company at NASCAR events.

White Wayfarers
I first saw a pair of these Risky Business throwbacks when I saw DJ Girl Talk playing in San Francisco. He wore his in neon, and I wondered if he was old enough to know the significance of what sat atop his nose. For those of us who remembered the eighties, this wasn’t a look we were in a rush to revisit. Somehow that didn’t stop Drew Barrymore and Kirsten Dunst from sporting the white version; Ray Ban even re-introduced the original Wayfarer design in 2007 to respond to the popular demand. I did my eighties time already.

Buddha Booze
In the bars, a cocktail is an accessory. And the trends in booze are usually fun (or funny) to follow (i.e., Sparks, Ice Brewed Beer, Red Bull drinks). But when I first heard about Zen Liqueur, I knew the alcohol industry had reached a new low. I mean, trying to sell booze with Buddhism? What’s next, Purgatory brew followed by a chaser of Heaven? As many times as I’ve tried, even I know you cannot reach spiritual or religious enlightenment with a drink. Or maybe I’m just not buying into the trend?

Missing some of these recent trends may make me unfashionable. I’m okay with that. Besides, if I really do “miss” them, I’m sure that like the eighties, they’ll be back.

Hipster photo courtesy of chicmamacita.blogspot.com