During these trying economic times, we’re all looking for ways to save a buck. And while we all know that clipping coupons and riding a bike to work are good ways to save money, there are other cost-cutting measures you should avoid—like these services you should never go discount on. Trust me; I spent an entire day with a student dentist once—some things are just worth the money.
1. Discount Plastic Surgery
Sure, everybody’s doing it and your face could probably use a little work … but don’t go to that guy your buddy’s cousin’s mother’s niece recommends, who operates in his creepy old trailer at the “bad” end of the park. Diamonds are forever but can be lost or stolen; your face is with you for life, no matter what. Don’t let surgical mistakes happen to you.
2. Discount Defense Attorney
Photo source: insunlight on flickr (cc)
All Simpsons fans know Lionel Hutz, the defense attorney for the family. In one episode, he is on trial himself, accused of “accidentally running over the judge’s dog.” Defending himself, he testifies, “Replace the word accidentally with repeatedly, and dog with son.” If you are facing some hard time or a murder rap, spring for the expensive guy. If you win, you’ll be poor (but free) but if you lose, will all that money you saved be worth anything in the harsh prison marketplace?
3. Discount Dentistry
Photo source: Road Rage Bunny on flickr (cc)
Going to the dentist sucks, but it can suck even harder if you go the cheap route. When I was a poor grad student, I went to the local community college’s student dentist program for a cleaning. Five hours later they sent me home with an aching jaw and stiff back, after telling me I needed to come back in a couple of hours so they could finish! My God, people, how long can a cleaning take? Forever, in fact; every single move with brush, probe, or sucky straw had to be approved first by the instructor, making for an endless ordeal. And you know what the most fucked-up part of this story is? I actually went back!
PREVIOUS PAGE
