Has anyone been watching the news story about the polygamist religious sect? I’ve been watching it and have come to a conclusion that I’m not sure anybody else has figured out. Okay, supposedly the FBI has found these guys that have many wives ranging from very early teens and up. Now here is where my little twisted mind begins to work. Now the FBI has released that they are rescuing these young ladies from the men and returning them to normal society. Now I don’t think for one minute that these men are running the show. Why? Because I’m married, that’s why.
You see, only young men would ever even dream about having more than one wife because they have no idea how it really is. Now any married man reading this right now is shuddering at the thought. Imagine, twice the complaining, twice the nagging, twice the bickering. You would never have a peaceful time for the rest of your life.
So how did this sect ever get started? I’ll tell you how. There once was a young man who had a girlfriend that he was about to marry. Now the young gentleman happened to be confronted with the opportunity of another young lady being interested in him which led to an affair. Of course there is the drama of being found out but what the two women decided was that they would share the man and both become his wife. Why you say? Because that would be the most cruelest form of revenge they could possibly inflict on the poor guy. Now these women realized that other women might want to join in on this ultimate man-ruining regime and recruited other women and young and stupid men who thought they were being offered the deal of a lifetime only to find after a while that they had been cast into the ninth level of estrogen hell.
Now I can tell you that I could never cheat on my wife, not only because it is wrong and I vowed not to, but because I can’t even keep my wife happy, let alone two or more. I shudder from my ankles to my shoulders just thinking about it. There was one time that my wife did accuse me of having an affair and the conversation went like this:
Her: “Are you cheating on me? Because if you are—it’s over!”
Me: “What? Why would I do that for? I can’t even keep you hardly happy let alone someone else.”
Her: “Well you could be having sex with both of us—wait, you’re right, that’s giving you way to much credit.”
So to make it look good, the FBI went in there not to save the women, but to save the poor men. I mean think about it, especially you married men. Do you really think that that many women were in the same group and not running the show? Come on. Reality check! Why do you think that when interviewed the women talked about it being the best setup in the world? Brainwashing? Hardly. It’s because they meant every word of it!
Why do you think that Mormons have officially denounced polygamy? Because they were having too many men commit suicide and realized that their religion would dwindle away to nothing if they didn’t act in the interest of the poor intensely henpecked men involved.
So the next time you try to see a news anchorperson trying to convince you how bad these poor women had it, stop for a minute and look at it through my twisted view and you just might see the truth behind the BS.
