It’s a Crazy Life (Part 4)

The Dog Lover
On the northeast corner of the crossroad that we lived on there was a bed and breakfast that was owned by a couple probably in their mid-forties. We had a little Pomeranian named Rocky that looked just like a red fox. He was dark ginger colored on his back and sides and a snow-white belly. He really was a very pretty dog.. His only vice was that he really liked to eat cat turds. I mean really liked them. We also had a cat and Rocky would raid the litter box. He would walk by and it sounded like he was chewing up a jaw breaker. Anyway this lady was one of those people who liked to “kiss dogs back,” letting them lick her face and she would lick back and stuff. It was really gross on the best of days, but one time Rocky ran to her after being outside and she did the normal slobber swapping routine with him. As I was talking to her, I noticed that Rocky was panting and I could see the cat shit still in all the crevices of his tongue and stuff. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her.

Wife Injures Would-Be Thief
Before we lived in Gentry, Arkansas, we lived in an apartment complex in a town called Siloam Springs. My wife worked nights and I worked days. Her friends would frequently stop by sometimes late at night to chat and one night like many others, the doorbell rang. When she opened the door there was this Mexican guy that instantly tried to come in the door! He stuck his arm inside and Jennifer promptly slammed it in the door again and again. The guy was howling at the top of his lungs and she just kept slamming his arm in the door screaming like a banshee. The guy finally got away and screamed all the way down the street. It wouldn’t surprise me if she broke the guy’s arm. We filed a police report and the police officer said they would check all the emergency rooms for him.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3