Bucking the “Invisible After Fifty” Stereotype

Mary enthuses about the collaboration and creative problem-solving process of filmmaking although she acknowledges that the process also caused her plenty of sleep loss. She remembers waking up more than once at 4:30 a.m. thinking, “Oh my God, WHY did I do this? I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING!”

What kept her going? The fact that people were counting on her. She let loose with a big laugh when recalling that people working with her fully expected her to be the expert, to provide competent direction. “I learned that a big part of this is saying, ‘Yeah I can do this’ … and people just think you can!”

Mary and I talked about how intimidating it can feel to have to figure out how to do something new. We shook our heads at how often we’ve let that fear stop us from tackling a new project or venture. Both of us have noticed that it seems to be an issue for many women.

Mary’s film experience taught her a thing or two about that fear of “just figuring it out.”

She and I agree that the biggest part of doing something you’ve never done before is simply committing the time and attention necessary to figure it out. She wisely said, “People are good [at figuring things out] because they have the right attitude. It has nothing to do with pre-knowledge.”

Another big realization for Mary was that her own mental limitations held her back. “What aggravates me more than people putting me in a box, is ME being willing to put me in a box,” she said. “Our world can be so much bigger than we think.”

She mused that “Women our age believe what our culture says about becoming more invisible as we get older. We just believe it and act the way people treat us. Why do we do that?”

Mary’s willingness to take on filmmaking, and succeed at it, gave me permission to do something I never dreamed I could do. Sometimes, all it takes is someone you know being courageous enough to take a risk. Suddenly something shifts inside and you begin believing you could do it too.

Mary summed it up beautifully: “Where you are is where you’re willing to put yourself. It is all in the attitude.”