During the years after my first husband’s death and before I met my current husband, I worked four jobs. My dad died and my mom moved in with me, where she lived for fifteen years. After the death of my husband, my mom cared for my grandson and my daughter while I worked hour after hour to keep my family going. My daughter (grandson’s mother) later remarried and moved here to Florida. She has three children, and although she wanted to take my grandson back, I would not allow it because he and I bonded so strongly. To uproot a child that was stable was wrong. My daughter agreed and I understood why she gave him to me. It was the right thing to do at the time. But after my husband died, it was hard rising a baby at forty and working four jobs.
Thinking back to one year ago today, I would be here with all bills current and food in my refrigerator, wondering what to cook for dinner. The kids would be home from school soon, my husband at work, also home soon. I’d be trying to think of something we could do as family over the weekend that wouldn’t cost a lot but yet be fun. Maybe a trip to the drive-in, or may to one of the state parks. We’d be talking about Halloween and, “What costume do you want me to make this year?” There’d be the thought of Christmas coming soon and me thinking maybe I should start looking for those little gifts now.
One year ago, I would have never thought that today I’d be sitting here jobless with no prospects for work in sight; with nothing in the refrigerator to cook, so no worry about what to make for dinner. But worry, god how I do, and what can I feed my children? The food bank gives us mustard, baking chocolate, and spices—not exactly a meal. I’m behind on my bills with the lights ready to be shut off. I’m $987 away from eviction. Having a meal is what is on my mind for the family weekend. I’m begging for work, never mind applying the normal way. Telling my kids to make sure they eat all their free lunch (provided by the state of Florida) at school; praying this nightmare comes to end. Every time I see the news, it seems this nightmare has just begun. Does anyone hear us out here? What has happened to this country, our jobs? How do we fix it? What can I do as a mother but worry about what is in store for my children, for my future?
