2. Think of wedding planning as a joint effort. My mate and I work on things together. We do have designated tasks (I give him lists of things to do with due dates), but we also do a lot together. It makes the process fun.
3. Consider a budget ahead of time and stick to it. Don’t let anyone persuade you to do something you don’t want. Consider what you could buy or invest in post-wedding. If you skip on the expensive gown or caterer, the money can go toward education or a down payment on an apartment or house.
4. Wear what makes you feel good, not what the world thinks you should wear. You don’t have to wear a gown or a veil if you don’t want to. White, cream, and all versions of ivory are gorgeous, but not all of us want to wear it. Why not green, blue, silver, or gold? One friend of mine went to a recent wedding where the bride wore a short blue dress and tall go-go boots. She was happy—and it showed.
5. If in doubt, skip it. In the wedding industry, so much is about theater—and it’s optional. I had a caterer blather on about “lighting options.” My idea of good lighting? A $2-bag of tea lights from the hardware store! He also mentioned a wonderful “stylist.” Aren’t stylists for celebs? Am I not fabulous enough?
6. Observe people carefully before deciding to work with them. I try to avoid vendors who say things like “You really should …” or “You have to …” or “You need to …” No, I don’t. As soon as someone starts talking to me like I’m a child, I run away as fast as I can!
7. Keep the wedding an expression of you and your mate. We’re writing our own vows and have decided not to have a best man or bridesmaids. Some have reacted in horror. You’d think the world was coming to an end. We also decided on a small ceremony on a separate day from the reception. No matter the reaction, we plug ahead with our plans.
