But our country has created an independent culture. We celebrate our independence every year and not only on the one historic day in July. Every day, we are independent in how we walk down the street alone, disconnected from everyone else. We exude our independence within the diversity of our thoughts and beliefs. While we are the poster children of independence as well as individuality, I’ve always wondered if that independence translates into a reasonable comfort level with spending time alone.
There were moments during those two years traveling solo where I spent a whole day in silence because I didn’t have a common language to share. There were also moments where I was scared, but I eventually learned that my fear stemmed from a simple fact, that all I needed to do was to connect with those who were different from me. When I returned to America, I contemplated how it may have been the wanderlust that stimulated my independence, but then I realized that I still needed to take those risks in order to keep life interesting. If I didn’t put myself out there or learn how to deal with my feelings of loneliness by sitting with them and letting them pass, I’m not sure I would be the individual that I am.
I told my girlfriend the other day that I wanted to write a different kind of article to honor Independence Day, so I decided to ask her what she thought I did that was independent, because I had come up blank. She said, “Oh, that’s easy. When you missed having a gay boyfriend in your life, you wanted to put a posting on Craigslist looking for one. And when we went dancing and I told you that my husband wasn’t totally into dancing, you told me to look for a dance partner once we moved to Rome, that it would be a nice way to meet people in a new culture. You meditate, which teaches you how to be comfortable alone and you love to travel alone. You, my friend, are the most independent woman I know.” I blushed a little. I had forgotten that the things I do seem normal to me but might be a little out there to others. Then I smiled, knowing that maybe my independence had a certain something to it and that it was something I should celebrate.
