To My Favorite Ex-Boyfriends

By: Amanda Pagliarini (View Profile)

When I looked back on my life, my memories of you are the last thing I remember before I went down a path that nearly destroyed me. And so I have clung to the thought of you all along. At some of the hardest pockets in life, I have envisioned myself back in those tunnels with you, and felt safe.  

My heart is warmed to know you again, to know you’re happy, and to know you’ve thought and cared about me all along. Most importantly, you have a beautiful girlfriend who I could tell in thirty seconds of meeting her that she loved you and would treat you the way I would want you to be treated. A way that I would probably be incapable of myself.

Thank you for reminding me of pure, soft, innocent side of my life.

Dear Chris,
While our relationship was an immature, college one, I will always remember our laughter. I laughed more with you than anyone I’ve ever met. When I think back to the nine months we spent together, I think about lying in your king-sized bed (a luxury size not known by most at our age) and laughing like a hyena. I had the most fun with you, and when I’ve been presented with the challenge of what one person I would take with me to a deserted island, I’ve often thought of you.

Thank you for spending a small piece of your life with me, and for the laughter you brought to mine.

Dear Christian,
Oh Christian. How I loved you. There is no doubt in my mind that you were my very first and true love. You brought such meaning and depth to my world. Your poetry, your ponderings, your fascinations, your cooking, your music, your love; all enriched me and have stayed with me to this day. I had never experienced romance before you and you literally swept me off my feet and changed me for the better. I still remember sitting across from you at Mr. K’s (after we had ditched the opera out of boredom) and beginning to cry because I was so happy.

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posted: 09.17.2008
Aria Leigh
This is like the 12 Step Program for Alcoholics! I think this is a great idea...did you actually ever send any of these letters to your exes? You definitely gave me an idea:) Great stuff!
posted: 09.10.2008
Richdxii
This article was the one that sucked me in, from the male prospective this was a great read to know or to understand it's not personal but just a process in the the evolution of who we are and what we hope fully will manifest our selves to become. That's the good thing about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.; right now. Thanks
posted: 09.02.2008
Alicia
Absolutely LOVE this article, although the last bit, to Micheal, made me a bit sad, as I am still with my, "Micheal". You described our relationship to a tee... we love each other to pieces, but at the same time, i hate the hell out of him, and so much of what he stands for. Anyway, what a lovely trip down memory lane, with so much thought included... thanks... for the great read, and the great memories!
posted: 08.30.2008
Tharan
Most men actually know quite well how to treat women and love them unconditionally. Our sensitivity to your feelings are what help us do the right things during the courtship. But unfortunately, there is always that one experience (hopefully not more), that leaves us jaded and bitter to our core. I feel for Christian and Scott. You see, our mothers and daughters never hurt us in this way. We are created pigs, not innate. The story of your dating life reads like a consumer product ad. But we men, on the other hand, never forget you. You will always be our ideal. And men are quite the idealists. Our broken heart is the reason we cheat and lie on the women that follow you. They are never you. Where did you go? While you are pragmatic and able to effortlessly move to the next adventure, we know in our hearts that our one true love is gone, skipping through another adventure with "what's-his-name." And finally, he is us. Never forget that, next time you wake up next to an insensitive pig.
posted: 08.30.2008
M M
Kerry, I can't believe you can relate that tale and refer to yourself as "a little ball buster." I've got two stronger words for you. When my son was in pre-school, he drew a heart on a piece of paper, signed his name, folded it up, and put it in Abigail's "cubby." The little Witch tore it into a million pieces and put it back into his cubby. He was absolutely crushed. My husband and I were shocked at the heartlessness that act represented to a 4 year old boy. Did Abigail HAVE parents? Did Abigail's parents teach her to respond to demonstrations of affection in that manner? How can my son, now 12, stay as sweet and open as he is amazes me, in light of the treatment he will receive by people like Abigail? Did you ever talk about what you did to your parents? What did they say? Have you ever figured out why did you responded that way? Did he ever talk to you again? If so, why? What that representative of your future relationships with men? Oh, sorry, "boys."
It feels good to write.

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