To My Favorite Ex-Boyfriends

By: Amanda Pagliarini (View Profile)

Maybe there was too much passion between us. After you erupted in anger over my phone call with Scott, the way I looked at you shifted and I couldn’t switch it back. You should have been angry, because I was interested in Scott, and I ended up dating him soon after you. But please understand, something in me knew that it was time for me to leave the situation we were in, but I knew it wasn’t in your best interest. I was leaving you, for you.

There is an actor whose voice sounds just of yours. To this day, when I hear him in films I shudder to my core. I still think of you often and wish so deeply that we could be a part of each other’s lives. I hope that the reason you have chosen not to speak to me is not because you are angry with me. More important than having you in my life is knowing that you are happy and healthy. My secret hope is to reunite with you in another life, and I kind of believe that we will. Until then, there will always be a piece of my soul that aches for you.

Thank you for bringing love and passion to my life and for setting the bar for how I should be treated.

Dear Scott,
My relationship with you was probably the most crucial one of my life. But you already know this. You were a gift from above and it terrifies me to think of where I would be today, had you not come into my life. Everything that is good in my life today is a direct result of you taking my hand and showing me a way out.

You already know these things, but I hope you know that you didn’t just play a role that could have been filled by anyone. The period of my life that we dated was one of exploration, testing limits, experimentation, all helping me to determine who I was and who I wanted to be. It was a roller coaster, but it was also fun. And you held my hand patiently and supportively the entire way. (And I think you had a bit of fun too.)

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Comments
posted: 09.17.2008
Aria Leigh
This is like the 12 Step Program for Alcoholics! I think this is a great idea...did you actually ever send any of these letters to your exes? You definitely gave me an idea:) Great stuff!
posted: 09.10.2008
Richdxii
This article was the one that sucked me in, from the male prospective this was a great read to know or to understand it's not personal but just a process in the the evolution of who we are and what we hope fully will manifest our selves to become. That's the good thing about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new.; right now. Thanks
posted: 09.02.2008
Alicia
Absolutely LOVE this article, although the last bit, to Micheal, made me a bit sad, as I am still with my, "Micheal". You described our relationship to a tee... we love each other to pieces, but at the same time, i hate the hell out of him, and so much of what he stands for. Anyway, what a lovely trip down memory lane, with so much thought included... thanks... for the great read, and the great memories!
posted: 08.30.2008
Tharan
Most men actually know quite well how to treat women and love them unconditionally. Our sensitivity to your feelings are what help us do the right things during the courtship. But unfortunately, there is always that one experience (hopefully not more), that leaves us jaded and bitter to our core. I feel for Christian and Scott. You see, our mothers and daughters never hurt us in this way. We are created pigs, not innate. The story of your dating life reads like a consumer product ad. But we men, on the other hand, never forget you. You will always be our ideal. And men are quite the idealists. Our broken heart is the reason we cheat and lie on the women that follow you. They are never you. Where did you go? While you are pragmatic and able to effortlessly move to the next adventure, we know in our hearts that our one true love is gone, skipping through another adventure with "what's-his-name." And finally, he is us. Never forget that, next time you wake up next to an insensitive pig.
posted: 08.30.2008
M M
Kerry, I can't believe you can relate that tale and refer to yourself as "a little ball buster." I've got two stronger words for you. When my son was in pre-school, he drew a heart on a piece of paper, signed his name, folded it up, and put it in Abigail's "cubby." The little Witch tore it into a million pieces and put it back into his cubby. He was absolutely crushed. My husband and I were shocked at the heartlessness that act represented to a 4 year old boy. Did Abigail HAVE parents? Did Abigail's parents teach her to respond to demonstrations of affection in that manner? How can my son, now 12, stay as sweet and open as he is amazes me, in light of the treatment he will receive by people like Abigail? Did you ever talk about what you did to your parents? What did they say? Have you ever figured out why did you responded that way? Did he ever talk to you again? If so, why? What that representative of your future relationships with men? Oh, sorry, "boys."
It feels good to write.

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