At the end of last summer I was really struggling with my kids. We have 3 and there just always seemed to be a ton of conflict and whining in the house. It was really starting to get to me. My friend Colleen recommended this book to me. It’s actually one of several written by these authors and I actually purchased 3 of them.

At first when I read the book I was rolling my eyes and inwardly saying “yeah right”. The book has lots of cartoon examples of the different ways to approach situations with your kids. The “wrong” way was familiar as were the depicted results. The “right” way elicited insightful and delightful responses from the cartoon children. Nonetheless, the basic premises seemed quite logical. Listen carefully to your children. Don’t just try to solve their problems. Listen, don’t judge and allow them to start to figure out their own solutions. Validate their feelings and encourage them to find their own solutions.

There is also a lot of time spent discussing the way you talk to your kids every day when you praise them or chide them.

Anyway, I love the book. I am certainly not a perfect parent and the book(s) haven’t changed that fact but I do find that the concepts help a lot. As I mentioned, I bought 3 of their books which is nice since I find it helpful to re-read them a lot in order to not slip into old habits all the time.

And, while I don’t get the cartoon responses very often, it is astounding when it does happen. There was one night when my kids were goofing around before bed and my son got upset because he wanted a toy and his brother wouldn’t share. We talked about it, how it can be upsetting when you don’t get what you want. After we talked for a few minutes he had stopped crying and he gave me a hug and informed me that he would like to get ready for bed. I almost fell of the sofa since stopping play to get ready for bed is usually a minor struggle.

Anyway, I still yell too much but I’m no longer in danger of losing my mind and I think both my kids and I are better for that!